Parents advise

How do you deal with school matters after divorce?


Again, attention to the beginning, together it does not mean that we have to have compliance in everything and we consult everything. Neither possible nor natural. So what school matters and how can you cooperate?

Areas of joint operation and cooperation may include

First of all, determining how parents will pass on information regarding school matters. This is not an easy matter, because it means being in constant and ongoing contact, because things are also ongoing. Unfortunately, it happens that the parent with whom the child lives, "sips" information to the other parent. This is similar to the strategy of having an ace up his sleeve, "I mean, I know, and you'll know or not." Of course, this strategy shows that games between parents are still going on. If so, sometimes you have to take your own initiative, go to school yourself, etc.

Collecting information and choosing all educational institutions from kindergarten to the choice of studies, if of course the child will want to study, and how much parents will influence this decision

Determining how much your child needs help in learning how much you and your child will do homework. And if you need additional help, how will you arrange it?

Determining who will attend interviews, teacher's duty hours. Usually, you can share tasks here, especially if, for example, there are two children and interviews at the same time. There is also a question of all school celebrations, both those at school and those organized outside the school, e.g. a family picnic or campfire. I am not thinking about determining who will be there, both parents if it is possible for them. I am rather thinking about informing each other about it, this is especially important for younger children.

Action in situations of school or educational problems. For example, if a mother was at school summoned by a class teacher about the upbringing problems that the child creates, then the point is that the other parent should also know about it.

In this situation, both parents can decide on the strategy of action, whether they will talk to the child now or later, or together or one of them, what other steps they will take, how they will enforce the arrangements with the child, etc. It's good to support the other parent - it gives the feeling that, e.g. mother / father is not alone with problems, she does not have to face teachers at school alone

Katarzyna DuĊ„ska: a psychologist with many years of experience in educational, consulting and training work, NLP apprenticeships (M. Erickson Institute in Berlin), coach, vocational counselor, trainer. Has 20 years of experience in cooperation with educational institutions: schools, counseling centers, pedagogical councils and teachers. www.wspolnedzieci.pl