You live like a robot, with a timetable in his hand, staring thoughtlessly at a spoonful of carrot pulp in his hand. You know how it is. Apparently it all pleases, but when you can catch the distance, when you look at it from a perspective, when you have the chance to spend time differently, leave the house, be with yourself, then you appreciate these "ordinary-extraordinary moments". When you have them every day, 24 hours a day, you slowly lose their sweet taste and you start to feel bitterness. You start to think that life goes on somewhere else. Without you.
When you are with your child all the time, instead of enjoying many things, you feel boredom, overwhelming, sometimes even losing one's own self. These are the so-called dark sides of motherhood, which can not be mentioned, because it does not fall out. Boredom, burnout, fatigue.
Or maybe this boredom is not so bad at all? Maybe the routine typical for parents of young children has its positive sides? Maybe singing a lullaby for half an hour, the same notes enclosed in three stanzas, pleading in the eyes "finally fall asleep" allows for internal cleansing, calming down and experiencing strange feelings that you will never feel again? Is this an unusual type of boredom - parental boredom?
Maybe it is different? Maybe the taste of parental boredom depends on the dimension of experiencing it. Everyone has their own options, your internal limit. When he crosses it, he feels tired, and when he is under control, is he motivated to go out with the child and do something interesting? Boredom can, after all, mobilize, and can also suck the last energy and internally stupid.
"Escape" from home to work
How many moms "escapes" from home to work to ... relax and greet the child with enthusiasm and longing after returning home. They prefer this because they feel that their lives have not been forced into one role in which they do not find themselves, which is below their expectations. It doesn't allow them to grow - as women, not just mothers.
Often they would not have to go back to work or could take a longer break, but they decide to return because they can't stand ... boredom, daily repetition, mechanically performed activities that make the next day no different from the previous one.
Boredom of everyday life?
A lot is said about motherhood being fascinating, touching, beautiful. However, these are moments, fleeting moments.
Everyday passes for us under the prism of boring, stretching minutes, during not quite fascinating activities.
While half-hour bricks stacking can be nice, it's already two hours long until you ask for another challenge ... as far as possible for an adult. Boring 50 times a day is boring, reading the same story 10 times, arranging the same puzzle 7 days in a row.
All these things are not boring in themselves, they are boring repeated every day, for weeks and months, especially for a primary carer who has little or no support from loved ones.
Cake icing is eaten quickly, but the very process of preparing multi-layer treats is tedious and often boring. It is similar with child care, which requires many repetitions of the same activities, controlling the learning process.
Boredom in this unpleasant release can get us especially when mom:
- closes with the child alone at home - voluntarily or feels that there is no other way,
- lives in a small town where nothing happens
- doesn't know how to really relax with a child,
- she has the impression that her needs are unimportant, that she doesn't matter,
- there is no outside support.
Apparently, intelligent people are not bored, and everything depends on the imagination. That is why it seems that having a baby, sweet and changing every day, you cannot be bored, but there are times when even we parents, busy and tired, face each other with their imperfections.
It is comforting that you don't remember boredom and routine over time. There are beautiful breakthrough moments, memories of the first smile, word, step ...