How to spoil your relationship with your daughter / daughter-in-law and grandchildren and how to stop loving yourself? We provide a reliable recipe.
1. Show that you know everything best
It's obvious that you know everything better. You have at least twenty years richer experience than your daughter or daughter-in-law. It is also on your side that you raised the child yourself. You are proud of it, you know that you have done everything in your power. You've probably made some mistakes. Even if you do not want to remember them, you have one important mission - you want to save them from people you care about. That's why you share your knowledge at every step.
So what if you have good intentions and that your motivation is caring for your loved ones.
Your efforts will be badly received if you repeat at every step what to do, what to do, what to avoid. By showing your knowledge in this way, you can be sure that it will quickly turn against you.
And you know what? It is hardly surprising.
2. Be overzealous
The daughter or daughter-in-law says that she thanks a lot, but for now she wants to be alone with the child, but you take these words as a lack of courage to ask for help. You pack the first bag you will find and with a smile on your face you stand in front of your children's door, announcing that you came for a week.
You buy the entire layette for children, furnish a new room, do not consult anything, do not ask, but you relieve your loved ones in all their pleasant duties, because they have more important things on their minds .... and you have time.
You ensure that the delivery will not take place without your assistance and you camp at the door of the delivery room, shouting at midwives that they do not work well enough. If you find out about delivery too late, you call the hospital every now and then to ask how the delivery is going on. You don't let yourself be forgotten.
3. Be absent
Any extremity is not good, also planning life without grandchildren and children.
Although many grandmothers work professionally today, this fact does not justify completely ignoring the change in the structure of the family. Even if grandchildren were born too quickly in the opinion of the young grandmother, the opportunity to be a good grandmother exists only once. It can be used or lost forever. After all, children are growing so fast ...
4. Criticize parents
Rivalry between parents and grandparents is a natural thing. However, you should never let her take on a sick form in which her grandmother instead of the senior of the family and guardian of the past will become the greatest critic of her parents.
Sending signals to grandchildren that son-in-law or daughter-in-law is not accepted, undermining their authority or emphasizing their flaws is a way to nowhere, which suffers not only adults, but also children.
5. Show foolish love
There is a proverb that parents are from upbringing and grandparents are from spoiling. However, can grandparents do everything and parents have to quietly accept their decisions?
Unfortunately, pampering with sweets, serving them in any form and repeatedly during the day is not a sign of love, but ignorance. A baby after a sweet feast may have stomach ache, the baby's parents may have a problem to later explain to the child that they do not eat chocolate at dinner but at candy supper. A few-year-old has the right to feel lost in all this: because if grandma says one thing and mother mom another, then the rules do not apply.
There are certain rules that cannot be broken. If parents want to raise a child without sweets / meat / stupid fairy tales, this fact should be respected. Among the attractions you can easily find one that will be accepted by parents. You will not have to use catwalks, progress or requests "just don't tell mom" "this will be our secret."